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My favorite math jokes (Discussion)
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tapas satpathy said – Sat, 17 Jan 2009 09:36:34 -0000 ( Link )
Q.Why is math the saddest subject? A.Coz u go on solving a problem for 1 hour or even more(and ya that may take some 5 A4 size pages) and at last wat comes out is a wrong answer.
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Sureshbala said – Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:03:36 -0000 ( Link )
Here is my favorite one…
A stats professor plans to travel to a conference by plane. When he passes the security check, they discover a bomb in his carry-on-baggage. Of course, he is hauled off immediately for interrogation. “I don’t understand it!” the interrogating officer exclaims. “You’re an accomplished professional, a caring family man, a pillar of your parish – and now you want to destroy that all by blowing up an airplane!” “Sorry”, the professor interrupts him. “I had never intended to blow up the plane.” “So, for what reason else did you try to bring a bomb on board?!” “Let me explain. Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. That’s quite high if you think about it – so high that I wouldn’t have any peace of mind on a flight.” “And what does this have to do with you bringing a bomb on board of a plane?” “You see, since the probability of one bomb being on my plane is 1/1000, the chance that there are two bombs is 1/1000000. If I already bring one, the chance of another bomb being around is actually 1/1000000, and I am much safer…”
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oLahav said – Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:28:59 -0000 ( Link )
I have one… not the best, but it’s ok.
A medical student who is failing his advanced calculus course comes up to his prof and asks him- “hey, why do I have to take this stupid math course? It’s not like calculus is going to help me when I’m a doctor!”.
The professor answers- “Well, that’s not true. Calculus saves lives!”
“How so?” The student asks.
“Simple. Calculus helps prevent idiots from graduating from med school!”- Actions
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oLahav said – Thu, 29 Jan 2009 21:32:17 -0000 ( Link )
Thanks! Your statistics one was great.
Here’s another one. It’s not by me, I heard it from the Dean of my university (Waterloo’s Math faculty Dean) on his welcoming speech to the university in first year. It’s an example of how mathematicians are better than engineers (there’s a bitter rivalry between the Waterloo mathies and engineers).
So, a group of 4 mathematicians and 4 engineers are traveling to a big conference, and to save money they all take the train. Each engineer buys a train ticket, but only one mathematician buys a ticket. The engineers don’t understand this. They all board the train, and one mathematician stands by the window. He then shouts, “the ticket-collector is coming!” and all of the mathematicians run and hide in the bathroom stall. The collector comes by, and each engineer shows him his ticket, and then he knocks on the bathroom door and says “ticket please!”. The mathematicians slide their one ticket under the door, and the collector goes away.
On the return trip, the engineers think they’re smart, and they buy just one ticket. But this time, the mathematicians don’t buy any tickets. The engineers don’t understand this. Again, they board the train, and one mathematician watches and yells “the ticket-collector is coming!” The engineers hurry up and run to the bathroom stall. Then one of the mathematicians knock on their door and says “ticket please!”, and the engineers slide their ticket under the door. The mathematicians grab it and hurry to hide in the other bathroom stall…
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rkmittal said – Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:46:35 -0000 ( Link )
Interesting! Got this one from a friend. Here it goes -
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human – enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men – earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women – spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don’t spend = Donkeys
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
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Sureshbala said – Mon, 09 Feb 2009 18:09:33 -0000 ( Link )
I must say this is awesome rk….keep them coming
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manishk_90 said – Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:21:57 -0000 ( Link )
INFINITE NUMBER OF MATHEMATICIAN ENTERS A BAR. THE FIRST ONE ORDERS ONE PINT,2nd ORDERS HALF A PINT,3rd ORDER QUARTER A PINT. BAR TENDER SAY “I UNDERSTAND” AND PUT 2 PINTS IN FRONT OF THEM.
(SUM OF G.P WITH RATIO 1/2 AND 1ST NUMBER 1 IS 2.)
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manishk_90 said – Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:23:33 -0000 ( Link )
Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
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manishk_90 said – Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:28:44 -0000 ( Link )
What is the most erotic number? 2110593! Why? When 2 are 1 and don’t pay at10tion, they’ll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they’ll be 3…
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manishk_90 said – Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:30:49 -0000 ( Link )
Why do mathematicians often confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
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Sureshbala said – Fri, 27 Mar 2009 08:48:40 -0000 ( Link )
hahaha…this is really very funny….so math is the most powerful weapon
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priyank jain said – Tue, 26 May 2009 13:37:26 -0000 ( Link )
I have also a good one told by my music teacher as he always fails in maths
MATHS Meri AAtma Tumhe Hamesha Sataegi
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technicalkabir said – Thu, 11 Jun 2009 13:19:11 -0000 ( Link )
maths : Mentally Affected Teachers Harrasing Students..
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jitesh09 said – Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:44:04 -0000 ( Link )
this is beauty of maths….wat u ppl will say….
1 x 1 = 1 11 x 11 = 121 111 x 111 = 12321 1111 x 1111 = 1234321 11111 x 11111 = 123454321 111111 x 111111 = 12345654321 1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321 11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321 111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
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